Everything is Everything

Great definition

2010-07-17T20:55:00.000-07:00

sca·tol·o·gy (sk-tl-j)
n.
1. The study and analysis of feces for physiological and diagnostic purposes. Also called coprology.
2. An obsession with excrement or excretory functions.
3. The psychiatric study of such an obsession.

In other words:
1. studying poo.
2. being obsessed with poo.
3. studying those obsessed with poo.

Wow.

I really hope future employers don't search for me and find this blog post.

14 Months in 4 Minutes

2010-05-09T23:15:00.000-07:00

A WORLD PREMIERE ANDYS BLOG EXCLUSIVE VIDEO

2010-03-05T20:17:00.000-08:00

Below: an ultrasound of our new baby. It's beautiful, huh? We're about 14 weeks along.

And because a silent ultrasound video is kind of an oxymoron, we added rock music.

Music by De Novo Dahl.

Scams!

2010-01-23T13:12:00.000-08:00

Apparently, nigerian internet scams go far beyond the standard "I will share a fortune with u" kind. When I put an ad as a tutor on craigslist, I also was quickly introduced into the world of Nigerian Tutor Scamming.

Here's the first email I received:

Hello,
please kindly get back to me if u are still available to tutor my
son on this lesson... Dr. Robert

A little weird for a message from a doctor (or was it a Beatles reference?)... I sent back a generic reply saying I was still available. He wrote:

Hello,

Am happy that you reply to my request..Just to introduce myself to
you, My name is Dr Robert a single parent, I'm from united state but currently
based in United Kingdom due to my work transfer, my son will be coming for an
holiday in U.S, and i want him to be busy throughout as he will be starting his first
high school grade. Therefore, i just want to know may be he can always come to
you and teach him great things every morning,afternoon or evening concerning
the maths lesson.If this is possible, i will want you to get back to me with the cost of your teaching for a month which can start as soon as he get to the state he should be in the state very soon and will be coming to your house or meet at your nearest library for 1 hour each morning,afternoon or evening,I have someone that will always drive him down to your house.. My son's name is kelvin, he is 14 years old grade 5-12. I will want you to calculate 1 hour per day for Monday, Wednesday, Friday for the whole 1 MONTH,and get back to me so that we can arrange on payment. Kindly get back to me with...... TOTAL CHARGES FOR 1 MONTH THAT HE WILL BE TAUGHT 3 TIMES PER WEEK.. Thanks, I'll awaiting to read from you soon.Here is my line in the U.K if you care to give me a call +447 0457 10974

Hope to hear from you soon

Warmest Regards

I was immediately suspicious and searched to see if this was a common scam. It was. I replied:

Dear Dr. Robert,
I only accept cash in person, $[X] per lesson. I will not accept the money in advance. Your son can bring cash at the end of each week of lessons.

Look forward to hearing back from you and Kelvin.

And, the predictable reply:

I'm so glad to read from you again, actually i would have love
pay youin cash but i'm far away and i wouldn't any problem to arise
with your payment. Let me know if you will stillbe available to tutor
my son with my form of payment.

And, soon after, I got ANOTHER scam email from another guy. Here's an excerpt from that hilarity:

Good day to you over there. I hope everything is fine with you? I'm writing you regarding the advert you placed on craigslist concerning coaching/lessons. But first of all let me introduce myself. My name is Bill Michael and I have a daughter named Ashley, she is the only child that I have. I want the best for her in terms of education. She finished her first school in United Kingdom, but she grew up with her step mum in Mexico because her mum is late now. So that's why I married another wife so she wont grow up knowing anyone as her mother and I love her so much. Presently I'm still in United Kingdom with her and her step mum. I'm so sorry for saying all this, but im just saying it because I want the best for her , I will want you to me answer these important questions below so I can know the next step for you to start the lecturing...

Heh.

Applecare

2009-12-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

If I ever know anybody getting an Apple laptop, I tell them to get Applecare. Applecare extends the warranty of the computer from one to three years; if anything stops working, they'll send you out a new part with overnight shipping or take in the computer for more detailed repairs for free. Here's why I recommend it:

What we payed: $240 (student price)

I had no problems during my computer's first year, but since then I've had these problems:
2 battery replacements - $260
2 power adapter replacements - $160
Logic board replacement- around $800

All of that—at least $1200 worth of parts, not counting labor, plus shipping—was included under the $240.

Now I'm a heavy computer user who takes my computer on the road a lot, so my results are probably not typical. I probably wouldn't buy Applecare with an iMac. But, seriously, I wouldn't have been able to afford all those repairs myself, and I won't buy another notebook without Applecare.

Fantastic Mr. Fox

2009-12-11T22:49:00.000-08:00

Guys, if you haven't seen The Fantastic Mr. Fox, you've really let us all down. It's easily this year's best film (as far as I've seen), but people just aren't going to see it and it's a shame. So, next time you go to the theater, don't go see 2012 or Old Dogs or A Christmas Carol or Planet 51 or New Moon or any of the other terribly-reviewed films in theaters. Go see Mr. Fox, take the kids, take the neighbors kids, and take Summer and I because we'd love to see it again.

Fantastic Mr. Fox is based on the short children's novel by Roald Dahl, who also wrote many books you're probably more familiar with as movies: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, The Witches. Summer and I listened to it on audio book a while ago, and while it's certainly compelling, I was a bit disappointed—and wondering how such a short book could even have enough material to adapt into a movie. Well, this is one of those rare examples where the movie is actually better than the book. Director Wes Anderson expands the world of Mr. Fox in a way that's true to the book when it follows the plot, and is true to Dahl's style when the movie goes beyond the plot—a clever appropriation of part of Danny, The Champion of the World is a good example. Anderson also realizes the world in his own unique style, with which you'll instantly be familiar if you've seen any of his 5 outstanding past films. The characters are a little eccentric and the situations a bit quirky, but underlying it all there's a real story with real emotion.

The way I interpret the film is like this: it's not just about wild animals wondering why they don't fit into a human world. It's about us, as humans, feeling that this moment in history is somehow not what we were made for. It's the feeling that we came from somewhere else and belong somewhere else, and that our modern existence—where we live in small boxes we call houses and apartments, eat heavily processed foods, and rarely get out into nature—is a farce, a construction, maybe an illusion. In any case, it's not who we really are; we long for something more. As Yoda put it, "Luminous beings are we; not this crude matter." And yet, as is so transcendentally expressed in Fantastic Mr. Fox's final scenes in the grocery store and the sewer, we find a way to make this crude existence work. We adapt, and we love, and we build communities together. It's beautiful.

Help! I've been lampooned on a desert island!

2009-12-11T22:37:00.000-08:00

I see mormon.org ads in the strangest places. Once I saw a mormon.org chat ad—with, U no, annoying internet grammar that should be 4bidden—placed next to this article which subtly—but grammatically correctly—disparaged President Monson.

Today, I looked up the word "prurient" and saw a mormon.org ad on the page. What, is "prurient" a key word for mormon ads now? Couldn't there be some better targeting—you know, to words like "truth," "God," "atonement," "Mormon"... that sort of thing?

In other news, I have 5 grad apps completed out of 12 total. This semester has kicked my butt, but I've learned a lot.

Elliot is so great. We've been having raspberry dialogues back and forth the last few days (i.e. elliot: "phhhhh," me: "phhhh" elliot: "phhhhhh" me: "phhh" elliot: "phhhphphph" etc.), but today was our first "babababa" dialogue. He's so cute and he's standing better than ever, and falling less frequently. He's the loveliest little boy that ever lived.

Move over, Wii.

2009-12-03T17:10:00.000-08:00

We learned about this new piece of technology in my new media class: You're In Control.

No, this is not a video from the Onion, it's real. It's patented.

Global Warming

2009-11-10T13:30:00.000-08:00

Below is a complete list of every national or international scientific academy or society that rejects the opinion of anthropogenic (human-influenced) global warming:

11/3 Project

2009-11-06T09:54:00.001-08:00

You have got to see Jon Stewart's pitch-perfect parody of Glenn Beck. Jon Stewart is normally hilarious, but here he really shows off his acting chops:

More-or-less permanent link:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-november-5-2009/the-11-3-project

Fine Doodles

2009-11-03T11:38:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't seen this, Summer and I just launched our new business, Fine Doodles. Summer takes kids drawings and makes original acrylic paintings based on them. In terms of original artwork, the prices are cheap-as-free, so please check it out.

Here's our main website—it includes a gallery that will be ever-expanding as we get orders.

And here's our Facebook page. We're randomly giving away a free Large Fine Doodle to someone this week; you just have to become a fan by November 10th.

Prices start at $35, including shipping. You can easily spend more than that going out to dinner. No, you can't eat a Fine Doodle, but you can't keep a fancy dinner forever, am I right?

We're also trying internet ads and a moderate number of print flyers for pediatricians office, etc. If you have any ideas on how to advertise this, please help us out and let us know. Oh, and send it to your friends.

Horns make everything better.

2009-10-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

Judging from how terrible Weezer's new album Raditude is, and how great their Letterman performance with the CBS Orchestra last night was...

...I think it goes without saying that Weezer needs to be a 13-14 piece band for their next album.

Oh, and they need to write good songs again.

Foiled!

2009-10-30T00:58:00.000-07:00

So this past week, I've been hatching a weird screenplay to write about Edger Allan Poe's last days —he was found drunk and dying in a gutter, in somebody's else's clothes (they didn't fit). I figured it would be fun to take that as a starting point, and spin it off into a poe-esque tale, in which Poe was presumed dead, buried alive, and then escaped only to find himself in increasingly surreal and poe-esque situations. Cool idea, huh?

Apparently there was a novel sort of like that in 1995, in which,

The novel opens with Poe narrating his voyage aboard a steamer from Norfolk to Baltimore...These passages are intercut by third-person scenes in which the story takes a decidedly metaphysical—and convoluted—turn, as Marlowe tells the tale of a second Poe who is not in Baltimore but in Paris. In this shadow life, Poe's brother, who has not died, disappears under odd circumstances, prompting the writer to engage Chevalier C. Auguste Dupin (of "The Purloined Letter" fame) to investigate. Dupin is baffled by the case, but Poe finds a mysterious stone shard in his brother's flat that leads him to an unusual young woman—and to still other alternate lives, to a distant island where an indigenous tribe has been bereft of a sacred idol and to a remote lighthouse where the writer witnesses the end of the world.

...and, there's a film adaptation under development. It's produced by a guy named Jonathan Sanger who produced, well nothing special, but a bunch of stuff that actually got made. And he directed an episode of Twin Peaks. And the screenplay is being written by none other than Merritt Johnson, perhaps best known as the.... assistant to Jason Schwartzman on I Heart Huckabees.

Anyway... it could be good?

A Post for Grandma Myers

2009-10-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

The Day the Music Died Again

2009-10-23T11:24:00.001-07:00

This is not photoshopped. From Spinner.

Jobbin' it up.

2009-10-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

So, at work Flagship recently had us produce a commercial to recruit new students, and they wanted it on YouTube. Tamsen pretty much made this whole thing from start to finish, writing, directing and editing. I just made a few tweaks put it on Youtube, and now you lucky lucky people get to see it. Look for it playing on the BYU Bookstore's video loop. If you look through my youtube channel, you'll see other videos I've made, helped make, or just uploaded for work.

EDIT: Click here to watch it (it's not technically public anymore cause they're worried about copyright infringement on Jeopardy, even though parody is under fair use in copyright law.)

Free iPods?

2009-10-14T12:47:00.001-07:00

So, today on campus I saw a mac-user who must have missed the annual "Buy a Mac get a Free iPod" deal for students. This resourceful young man was not to be deterred by his misfortune; he was walking across campus, both hands holding his open MacBook in front him, earbuds plugged in, listening to music with iTunes.

I expect iPod sales to plummet as this practice spreads.

The Atomic Cafe, or: how I learned to start worrying and hate the bomb.

2009-10-13T00:02:00.001-07:00

Tonight, Summer and I watched the documentary The Atomic Cafe (available online through Netflix streaming if you have it and Google Video if you don't)

I would say this is the most harrowing film I've seen in a long time if I hadn't seen A Man for All Seasons (a classic film of comparable gravity) a few weeks ago. (Summer interjects here that the Israeli film Waltz with Bashir is similarly sobering.) The film is edited entirely from archival footage, including firsthand looks at atomic blasts, their holocaustic aftermaths, and the Cold War propaganda that arose with the development of nuclear weapons.

Here's a memorable scene, in which the risk of nuclear testing is justified:

Gremlins 2: alternate trailer

2009-10-09T10:54:00.000-07:00

Clone Wars, Where the Wild Things Will Be

2009-10-07T23:30:00.000-07:00

Everybody—or maybe just mostbody—has their own guilty pleasure TV show. Mine's the animated Star Wars: Clone Wars. The Clone Wars movie (essentially the pilot episode of the series) was, admittedly bad, but the show has gotten progressively better since then, with only a couple rough spots (Jar Jar episodes).

Yes, the show's primary demographic is like 12 year old boys. But apparently, despite all my training in film and literary criticism and my pretentious eclectic movie tastes, I still have a 12 year old boy inside me. The 2-episode season premiere was this week, and I just finished watching it. Holy cow, it was awesome. If you give one episode a chance, make it Episode 2 of season 2. You can currently watch it online at starwars.com. Why's it awesome? Because it's insane. Anakin's Star Destroyer has to board a bounty hunter's ship, but they're unprepared and have no boarding craft, so they jump aboard giant ground walkers and launch them into open space, Anakin and Ashoka wearing old-school space helmets while lightsabering against the droids that are on the hull of the ship.

And then, once they get inside, as a giant battle takes place between droids and clonetroopers, the bounty hunter TURNS OFF GRAVITY. It was like the single greatest sci-fi moment of my life, the sort of thing I had imagined and reimagined a thousand times since I read Ender's Game's account of the zero-G battleroom.

Dear guys who make clone wars: please more zero-G battles please.

Yeah, so I geeked out pretty hard tonight, which was good after a long long long day.

In other news, there are 5 new clips from Where the Wild Things Are online, and Summer and I are both amazed. Here's one below:

The Multimedia Post

2009-09-07T18:55:00.000-07:00

Today, Summer made Elliot laugh pretty hysterically. We like this.

And then, some photos from the amazing Flaming Lips concert Summer and I went to. We didn't take a camera, but we did find a lot of pictures of the concert on flickr the day after.

It begins.

Where were we? On the front row in front of the dancers on the right side.

But a little closer... about here:

Yeah, about there... wait a second, that's Summer and I, in an unscripted, unposed photo, looking happily, longingly into each others eyes. On a photo we found on the internet. You're not officially sure you're a real person until you find a photo of yourself on the internet that you never knew was taken.

This next photo, taken by the same photographer, is about what our view was during the whole concert, except no fists in front of us.

Enjoy the rest of the photos. Or Else.

Tweeteth the Raven...

2009-09-02T23:21:00.001-07:00

Inspired by Plato's Republic, I did a little poetry experiment.

Plato wrote this about the poet:

all he understands is how to represent things in a way which makes other superficial people, who base their conclusions on the words they can hear, think that he's written a really good poem about shoemaking or military commands or whatever else it is that he's set to metre, rhythm, and music. It only takes these features to cast this powerful a spell: that's what they're for. But when the poets' work is stripped of its musical hues and expressed in plain words, I think you've seen what kind of impression it gives. ... Isn't it ... like what noticeably happens when a young man has alluring features, without actually being good-looking, and then this charm of his deserts him?

So I wanted to see what would happen if I yanked Poe's "The Raven" (arguably the most well-known poem in the English language) as far from its original rhyme, meter, rhythm, and beautiful language as possible. The result? A paraphrase of "The Raven" on Twitter. Remember (or if you didn't already know it at one point, just member), it's in reverse chronological order.

Where are the wild things anyway?

2009-08-06T21:48:00.001-07:00

A new trailer for Where the Wild Things Are was just released online.

Somehow, my most anticipated movie of the year just got... MORE anticipated?

Other movies on the short-list: The Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Cold Souls, District 9, Gentlemen Broncos.

Also, don't know if I want to see it, but the trailer for A Serious Man is seriously a must-watch.

1984

2009-08-03T09:42:00.000-07:00

Summer and I just watched the 1984 film adaptation of 1984 this week, which was excellent, terribly depressing, and very true to the spirit of the book. Even if Brazil is very similar and much better.

But it's looking like you won't have to watch the movie or read the book anymore—simply move to Britain, which is planning to put tens of thousands of cameras in private homes. It's a plan from the British Childrens Secretary... Big Brother: you know, for kids! I'm just surprised he hasn't banned 1984 from schools yet.

Modest Mouse

2009-08-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

I've always been vehemently less-than-enthusiastic about Modest Mouse, mostly for their frequently drunken-slurry vocals and their use of filler words to fill out lyrical lines, but I think I can get behind their latest b-sides EP, "No One's First and You're Next". I particularly like the Whale Song.

It's on Spinner this week. Spinner is one of my favorite music-discovery sites. Every week they have 10-20 CDs new to listen to for free, and most of it is really good indie.

My other favorite music site is lala.com, which lets you listen to basically any CD for free online once through; after that you can pay about $1 [per ALBUM] to listen to it as many times as you want online. Even better, it can automatically put your entire music collection online, so you can have it with you anywhere as a sort of online itunes. Plus, if you decide you want to buy the MP3s, they're cheaper than Amazon or iTunes, frequently have $4 deals for great albums, and they deduct the price you already payed for the "web songs." And you get a bunch of songs free for just signing up - no commitment, no credit card needed, nothing. If you sign up through this link you'll become my friend, which, as far as I know doesn't give me anything. I just really like lala.

Funny MPAA Ratings

2009-07-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

Check out Davey Morrison's recent article. Hi-larious.

Twister
PG-13 for intense depiction of very bad weather

Today, Elliot VS. Mommy VS. Friction

2009-07-17T20:17:00.000-07:00

Avoid AMI Health Insurance

2009-05-22T11:27:00.001-07:00

We've been in an awful mess trying to figure out insurance. Not that we are in a particularly bad situation, it's just that the things we are told by differing parties are all conflicting and nobody will get back to us.

I know in the past we've recommended this particular agency to some people, but we take it back. Don't go to AMI Health Insurance. They may not be the root of our troubles, but they promise to figure things out and call you back, and they never do (except, of course to call you back 2 hours before your appointment and say he's going to be leaving town in one hour).

To any business people, this is all we want: If you say you're going to call us back, call us back. If you are going out of town, don't make appointments for after you leave—and if you do have to cancel an appointment, give some notice.

THE HORROR, etc.

2009-04-11T03:09:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in the Louis Armstrong New Orleans Airport, waiting to go back from my first conference trip.

I just got a drink a drinking fountain that I never want to drink from again. As I drank, I discovered that underneath the grate of the drain, there was a HUGE cockroach living there, much too big to escape, but his antennae and limbs poking around through the holes. The sticky coke residue around the drinking fountain suggests that the cockroach pulled a Winnie the Pooh, climbing in when he was small and finding enough junk to eat to get his stuffed self stuck in that little cage. I'd take a picture, but I don't think that's something you want to see, and it's certainly not something I want to see again.

In other news, the trip was good, though I missed my wife and boy a lot. It's the first time we've been apart since the night we got engaged, so we used a lot of minutes on the phone. I got a good feel of the French Quarter of New Orleans: A few actual attractions, tons of bars, and even more souvenir shops. I went to historic Preservation Hall, a completely unadorned tiny traditional New Orleans jazz hall, where the New Birth Jazz Band played. They were pretty incredible. People were packed into the hall, and there was a huge line outside of people waiting to get in for the second show.

Afterwards, I went to see Ratatat. I had known, and liked, them from their recordings, but they were completely, transcendentally AMAZING live. They are an instrumental (yeah, no vocalist) duo who play guitar, bass, keys, drums, and autoharp, all while laying down phat beatz. A great light show with a huge burst of confetti at the end sealed the deal.

They are mine

2009-03-31T16:10:00.000-07:00

As I was crossing the street by the Wilkinson Center, I was accosted by a passenger in a car stopped at the light.

"Uh, Excuse me."

I made eye contact. She had a thick Russian(?) accent and bleached-blonde hair. Did she need directions?

"Excuse me. I craim your glasses."

"Huh?"

She puts her fingers in circles around her eyes.

"I craim your glasses. They are mine."

Grad school update

2009-03-02T17:00:00.000-08:00

I've heard back from 2 of the 4 schools I applied to, and accepted at neither. Two to go. The one I feel I have a fighting chance at getting into is UT Austin, so we'll see what happens. If I don't get in this year, I'll be sure to apply to like 15 next year.

Band Names

2009-03-01T20:52:00.000-08:00

Following is a list of band names (?) that Summer and I found in our handwriting on the back of a Relief Society Bulletin in July 2008.

Free Willypedia
Wackypedia
Ok Go Wait No
The Ghosts of Ben Franklin
Ben Franklin's Ghosts
The Mighty Mighty Ben Franklin
The Ben Franklin Electric Detective Agency and Wig Shop
Lasers and Microchips
The Oklahoma State Visitors Council
Jesse James' Hand
The OK State
The Restaurant State
The Universe State
The Empty State
The Nothing State
The Sasquatch State
The Pegasus State
The Loch Ness State
The Winston Churchill State
The Gandhi State
The Gravity State
The Big Bang State
Rocket Fella
Napoleon's Gold Hand
Dead Robert Frost
Zombie Abe Lincoln
All you need is Louvre
Nicey
Whatever, Attorneys at Law
The Gametes
The Baker
Art Snobs
Nothing Eating the Nothing
The Waiters at the End of the Universe
Flight of the Condors
Eli Whitney
Thisbys
Dangerous Persons
Cecil O.
The Weaker Sex
Possible Halloween Costumes

Summer's unintentional puns.

2009-02-24T10:57:00.000-08:00

Summer accidentally makes funny jokes sometimes, and not just when she's sleeping. From today:

me: the lady who directed Across the Universe is directing a broadway musical of Spider-Man, with music by U2.

summer: that's uh...edgy?

I laughed and she didn't get the joke.

In other news, I have been sick and sicker, and I went to the doctor today and got some antibiotics.

I Quit Counting Miles

2009-02-16T13:38:00.001-08:00

Another song from your favorite band.

I Quit Counting Miles - Zap Rowsdower

Summer's Belly

2009-02-16T13:35:00.000-08:00

Viewer Discretion Advised.

This is Summer's big belly from 5 minutes ago. No "movie magic" here!

ROKKTURNAL

2009-02-16T13:14:00.001-08:00

Rokkturnal - Zap Rowsdower

Bride of Frankenstein

2009-02-05T14:51:00.000-08:00

I am currently watching Bride of Frankenstein. The VHS reads 1 hour and 20 minutes in. The Bride of Frankenstein just barely appeared in the film. The film is 1 hour 15 minutes long. There was one preview.

Yeah, so don't expect much female-monster carnage from this one.

Pills

2009-02-05T14:39:00.001-08:00

I have been taking a lot of sudafed lately thanks to the terrible red-alert weather inversion combined with a cold that won't go away.

Every time I take a pill from the 9-pill blister pack I get an alternating pleasure or disappointment depending on whether the pill I take leads to the pattern of pills being symmetrical or asymmetrical. Of course, I take the middle one first, because it stays symmetrical that way. Here is my favorite pattern.
264
819
573

Here is a picture of a full one so you can imagine it.

sometimes

2009-02-04T15:38:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I worry that what is a migraine to me is just another person's routine headache, that I have no idea what a real migraine is like and that I'm just a big wuss.

I have a headache right now. I think it is a migraine.

Anticipated Films of 2009

2009-01-28T18:10:00.000-08:00

This is my list of films that I would like to pay to see at the first-run theater this coming year, pending good reviews:

Coraline
Gentlemen Broncos
The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus
Up
Watchmen
Star Trek
Harry Potter
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Hannah Montana: The Movie

SPAMMM

2009-01-07T14:57:00.001-08:00

So, Gmail needs to work on their targeted advertising. This is what I saw today at the top of my gmail box:

Savory Spam Crescents - Bake 12-15 minutes or until golden brown

Oh, right! I forgot that I have an entire mailbox devoted to spam recipes.

One Minute Movie Reviews

2008-12-28T03:42:00.001-08:00

It's really late and I'm not tired because I took headache medicine. So, movie review time:

MirrorMask- this film is notable because it was written by Neil Gaiman - he has quite a good reputation for some reason. I liked Stardust pretty well (not my favorite film ever, but fairly solid), and Corraline looks interesting. And I really like surrealism in film. Unfortunately, this film is very poorly-plotted; the characters go through one episodic situation after another with a video-game-thin story. The protagonist has to find a mirror mask, and so she's given a key without any guidance as to where to go. The composited sets are overly-computery, the surrealist juxtapositions are rarely compelling, and the dialogue mostly sucks. In the "real world" there's a circus motif (the most surreal place in reality) that goes nowhere. AND THE MUSIC IS HORRIBLE. There is a lot of effort here, but it's sadly misplaced and self-congratulatory.

Ghost Bird

2008-12-05T13:04:00.000-08:00

In response to this, here's one I took on a bus.

McChronicles

2008-11-16T14:06:00.000-08:00

Guys, is there anything sadder in this world than a blog like this? It's a sincere blog with literally hundreds of posts about McDonalds.

Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous, but I can't help but notice the similarities to blogs I read myself. It's a little sobering. Some people are passionate—nay, obsessive—about gadgets, or film, or Macs. And some people are just passionate about McDonalds. They had some interview where the main blogger said he has had months where he's eaten nothing but McDonalds, with no adverse side effects, and that he should have "written the book"—presumably Super Size Me, which is not a book, but hey, it's not a book blog.

um wow

2008-11-07T08:04:00.000-08:00

Since posting the youtube videos last night, I have got a few hundred views and 10 comments. That's in 8 hours.

That's about as many comments as the rest of my life combined.

ATTN: ALL CHINESE POP LOVERZ

2008-11-06T21:44:00.000-08:00

I have added five new chinese music videos on my youtube channel. I made them for work. Enjoy to the max.

ATTENTION GRE PEEPS

2008-10-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

CAN I PLEASE BORROW YOUR GRE PREP BOOK, WHOEVER YOU ARE? Thanks. I will probably take it next friday.

Wow. Sarah Palin has a musical voice?

2008-10-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

EVERYONE PLEASE WATCH THIS FUNNY VIDEO. KIND OF SPOOKY IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Pick up the Phone

2008-10-24T12:46:00.001-07:00

Nick and I finally finished this song.

Pick up the Phone - Zap Rowsdower

Ben Folds

2008-09-25T10:23:00.001-07:00

Ben Folds is a considerably talented man, but the last couple ep's and the last CD Songs for Silverman haven't really been doing it for me; I've missed the Five dearly.

You may have heard that Ben recently preempted an internet leak of his new album "Way To Normal" by releasing a fake version of the album with 6 "fake" tracks—he spent 8 hours with his current band in a studio, writing and recording all 6 songs in one go.

They're silly, and they swear a lot, but THESE ARE THE BEST THING BEN FOLDS HAS PUT OUT SINCE ROCKING THE SUBURBS. They remind me of the spontaneous energy of his albums with the Five: Ben Folds Five, Whatever and Ever Amen, and The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner. His current band has every bit the talent of the Five.

You can hear the songs here.
http://www.wokeupwaytoolate.com/filedump/Way%20to%20Normal%20'leak'/

Compare these songs to his new single, "You Don't Know Me" - a nice song, but overproduced to the point of coldness. That's where I feel Ben has gone, with the producers with computers fixing all his crappy tracks, if you know what I mean.

I listened to the actual new album, and it's good (better than Silverman, probably), but I think I like the fake versions better.

Sunday Nap

2008-09-21T14:20:00.000-07:00

Summer woke up and said, "What happened to all the chain gangs and stuff?"

2008-09-12T14:54:00.001-07:00

Why is it that every time I see a black person, my brain says, "oh a black person. I don't have a problem with Black People/I like black people"? It's the truth, I think, but is that still a form of cognitive racism?

Pick Up The Phone Demo

2008-09-06T13:04:00.000-07:00

Nick Mostly and I Somewhat wrote this song today. And we recorded it.

Pick up the Phone (Demo) - Zap Rowsdower

"Let's pray" "Don't they have a button for that?"

2008-08-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

This is my life.

I burned my mouth with a hot pocket today. Hot Pockets TM neglects to put microwave instructions on the individually wrapped packages, instead deferring to the box, while providing a tome of instructions on how to use the fancy folding tearing sleeve.

There is an old woman asleep outside my office at byu right now. It's education week, so there's lots of old people on campus, and I've seen plenty of people sleeping on campus, but this is the first time that I've actually worried, "Is that person dead?" Time will tell; I didn't get close enough.

I think the use of toilet paper is - perhaps - an art form. How do you maximize each square of toilet paper? I do it differently every time. WHY HAVE NO BOOKS BEEN WRITTEN ON THIS? And if there have been, why isn't it on every bookshelf alongside dickens? Perfecting the art could save MILLIONS... BILLIONS OF DOLLARS. Per world, not per person.

Nick and I jammed saturday, writing and recording "I'm ashamed of my gameshow" which you can listen to in my previous post, in about 3 hours. He has the lyrics on his blog. (Pretend link)

Summer has been fun in her sleep lately. She gets tired early because...

WE ARE HAVING A BABY (For those who don't know)

...and so I often stay up later than she can. One time I asked her to kneel and say nightly prayers with me; I guess she was already asleep, cause she said "Don't they have a button for that." I'll get into a rant about technology soon, but uh, that was funny. But last night was funnier. I was playing Star Wars on my laptop in bed, and she seemingly woke up, sat up, looked at me, then, intrigued, pulled the magnetic power plug out of my computer and remarked, gesturing to the plug, "have you heard of this new magic?" then plugged it back in. I giggled as she laid back down. Later she got up and went to the bathroom; when she came back, she was on the cusp between cogency and the subconscious, very confusedly asking if "the pans of green beans were still waiting to visit with us." I imagined a comedy sketch cutting back and forth between us furtively whispering about how to get rid of them, and two pans of steaming green beans ominously sitting and waiting on our couch.

Stuff I've recorded recently

2008-08-16T14:11:00.001-07:00

My Recordings

THIS IS COOL

2008-08-05T14:45:00.000-07:00

Axel Peemoeller - Eureka Carpark Melbourne
Lookie.

"all in all it was a good read" - Google Search

2008-08-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

Hehehe. So we did a search for "all in all it was a good read," because Summer was talking about how it's a really tacky phrase for a book report.

We found this gem:
"All in all it was a good read just please just make it flow more smoothly and more coherently and you will become one good writer. :)"

"all in all it was a good read" - Google Search

Moving

2008-08-01T13:52:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like moving to remind you how finite and disposable your worldly life really is.

New Music

2008-07-25T12:16:00.000-07:00

I have some new music recommendations. Maybe not new to the world (though some of it is), but new to me, and hopefully to you.

In the region of indie power pop:
De Novo Dahl - Move Every Muscle, Make Every Sound
Terrifically energetic and quirky. We saw them on tour and they were incredible. Nice people too. I literally could not stop listening to this CD for weeks.

Benji Hughes - A Love Extreme
(Listen to his new cd this week on spinner.
I almost stopped listening to his cd after a weird first minute and a half, but I'm glad I didn't. Really exciting music that feels both everyday and transcendent.

Sunny Day Sets Fire - The Summer Palace
This multinational band sounds kind of like what the polyphonic spree would sound like if they had a good songwriter. Really big.

In the more electronic indie region (what you might like if you liked Bright Eyes' Digital Ashes in a Digital Urn or The Postal Service):
Electric President - Electric President; Sleep Well
This is a band that I discovered and liked, then heard another song of theirs, didn't know it was theirs, and looked it up hoping to make another musical discovery. Vocalist sounds kind of like grandaddy.

Patrick Wolf - Wind in the wires
Kind of coarse vocals and really interesting use of sound. I was listening to this while reading Flannery O'Connor and had a really psychadelic experience. Without drugs.

Thoughts on Other New Releases

Human Highway - Moody Motorcycle

Okay, so this isn't exactly out yet, but when it is, I will buy it. Nick Thorburn of Islands teams up with a guy I've never listened to but probably will in the future. Laid-back, agreeable music that is like the flip side of the coin to Islands' "Arm's Way." Completely different in tone, but complementary.

Weezer - The Red Album

Weezer could have really sucked this one up. The bad news is that half the album sucks. The

good news is that the rest is really, really good. The best stuff since pinkerton, though it's more in the spirit of the blue album.

If you haven't heard it, get tracks 1-3, 5-6, and 10. They're really good, as long as you're expecting weezer and not The Beatles. Track 4, "Heart Songs" was so nauseatingly bad I had to delete it to prevent any song-shuffle mishaps. 7-9 are definitely mediocre; each is written and sung by a different bandmember besides Rivers. Weezer does a good job fleshing out the song of each song, but the songwriting is just plain bad. "Angel girl in a cold dark world?" Actually, Pat Wilson's "Automatic" isn't half bad, but by the time it rolls around, it's definitely time to have rivers back for track 10, "The Angel and the One" which closes the album with a whimper.

Unless, of course, you can get ahold of the bonus tracks, "Miss Sweeney" and "Pig," which are probably my favorites of the whole album.

Coldplay - Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends

It has its moments, but I was a little disappointed. Unlike most people, I liked X&Y better; it was heavier and more energetic. Viva La Vida grows on me the more I listen to it, but it's not something I can listen to over and over again. The best tracks are Lost, Violet Hill, and Death and All His Friends. Especially Death and All His Friends: a chorus explodes out of an instrumental, is promptly repeated once, and dies away... it's incredible. In this album, coldplay feels liberated from pop forms, which gives them a chance to take on less commercial material. But crunchier guitars please, Chris.

Sigur Ros - that long icelandic title

Ranges from really good to incredible.

This isn't new but...

The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground & Nico

Why had nobody told me about this band. The song Heroin is incredible.

Jonathan Mann - The Mario Opera

Listen here.

New Films

2008-06-19T22:46:00.001-07:00

Here are a documentary and a fiction film that I directed and edited for class this spring.

Insomnia

2008-06-01T23:25:00.000-07:00

Can't sleep, and not feelings so hot (figuratively speaking only), so I just got up to take some benadryl. That would solve all my problems, wouldn't it? Except I just accidentally took excedrin instead. Ha.

I want to make a documentary about a local elementary school starting a chinese immersion program. I just decided this within the last half hour lying awake. I'm thinking I might actually do it if I can A) get credit as an advanced project, B) get my work at the chinese flagship center to finance it. It's a long shot, but I'd want it to be raw research as opposed to the PR stuff I regularly get. That means I direct it—I don't edit based on political correctness or anything. Maybe I could try to swing it like the film Glass did: he told the owner he'd make him a film of the glass factor to order if he could also make a film of his own, without oversight. The owner actually liked the more artistic one better.

I'm interested in it because my sister was in a Spanish Immersion program in elementary school that completely imploded after 4 years. They treated the kids more like guinea pigs more than students; at least that's my impression of it. There weren't enough qualified native spanish speaking teachers, so they had to combine grades, which caused kids to quit, which caused even more kids to quit, until it was down to about 2-3 students including my sister, at which point she got out. The timeline is off from the english speaking kids—the spanish speakers are behind in the other areas, and the idea is that they'll catch up. I'm not sure how they expect to teach them everything the english speakers learn PLUS another language, but they try it. Anyway, I know it was really really hard for her to integrate back into the normal classes at first. And now she doesn't remember spanish.

So I want to know - does this ever work? What are the benefits? Where are the kids of the successful programs, now they're in college or beyond? did it make a meaningful impact? Who are the first graders enrolling in this new pilot program - is it something they really want to do? Are these six-year-olds ready to make a six-year commitment? Is it their parents? Do they have concerns? Are they putting them in because chinese is good for business and for getting jobs or something? Is it for multicultural awareness, which could, arguably, be an immeasurable yet significant influence on my sister even though the program imploded? Why do we need to teach languages earlier at all? My department broadcasts chinese classes to 20 different high schools in utah right now - probably 2-3 times that many later next year. Is this going to change their lives? Is it a good influence?

There are so many questions spinning in my mind, as benadryl and excedrin go head-to-head in the battle for my drowsy/non-drowsiness.

We watched the first season of This American Life this week. It was incredibly charitable and moving. One episode was filmed in Utah County, and focused on mormonism, inactives, beards, and religious art in a really compelling juxtaposition of pessimism/areligiosity and devout testimony. A mormon artist dresses people up and takes pictures of bible scenes so he can paint from them. Problem is, he needs models with beards, and he has a hard time finding them among the RMs of provo, and he finds a lot of the ... uh... other side of utah county. (I'm not saying that all bearded people are inactive. My dad had a beard, and played George Lucas in a movie I made, until he started working for the church and had to shave. I never shot another scene of that movie). Inactive members I think definitely see themselves in this, but at the same time, I think there's something pure and devout to find as well. Halfway through, I asked my wife where the This American Life signature compassionate two-sidedness was. By the end, I felt it had really come through. Maybe the jackmormons swearing and doing a little tiny big of axe-grinding against the church (saying it was like wal-mart...?) wouldn't qualify it for a watch at church or even for the more human and less cleancut Fit For the Kingdom. But, people, we need to watch this stuff.

It feels like summer. We had the bassist and drummer from De Novo Dahl over for dinner last saturday.

I went in a hot air balloon yesterday.

My dad's been in the hospital.

Record Review: Islands - Arm's Way

2008-05-22T12:42:00.000-07:00

I have been a big enthusiast of songwriter Nick Thorburn’s music for years, and so I had been anticipating Islands’ second album, Arm’s Way, for some time. Upon first listen, it was exactly what I expected—lyrically, at least. But the sound has changed: it’s much heavier, with huge production, high reverb, dense arrangements, and tremendous dynamic range. The performances are so tight and intense that I was literally shaking by the third track. The lyrics are packed with surreal imagery, invoking the supernatural and mythical: the subject matter in “Abominable Snow” ranges from Yetis to the sci-fi b-movie Logan’s Run in a single song. The instrumentation differs fundamentally from Islands’ first album Return to the Sea, in that every song is guitar-driven; the synthesizer hardly makes an appearance.

Stylistically, Arm’s Way generally sticks to epic progressive rock, with the occasional foray into some sort of tropical mariachi, power ballad, or funk breakdown. The end of “In the Rushes” sounds like power pop in the style of The Who—it’s actually a cover (or lyrically, a revision) of The Who’s “A Quick One, While He’s Away.”

The album clocks in at a hefty 108 minutes, and feels even longer than that. Where most mainstream albums are almost nothing but verse-chorus repetition, Arm’s Way has plenty of brilliantly crafted standout moments that show up only once. It’s filled of jarring contrasts: in “Abominable Snow,” a slow bridge with a muted guitar, a canopy of strings, and a 3-part ba-ba-ba harmony is suddenly followed by a blistering chord-driven chorus where Thorburn’s voice is almost—but not quite—a scream.

That doesn’t last long before “Creeper” starts. It’s a slower, funkier, riff-driven song with eerie strings, a steel drum, and a bass clarinet. In the ballad “Life in Jail”, the middle section digresses into a groovy instrumental in the middle that reminded me of my high school pep band; it closes with a triumphant coda of ba-ba-ba-ba’s. “We Swam” is interrupted by only two bars of amazing Beach Boys harmonies.

That immediate contrast is one big aspect that sets Arm’s Way apart from Thorburn’s earlier releases. From 2000 to 2005, Thorburn fronted the quirky trio, The Unicorns. With a unique brand of synthesizer- and guitar-driven pop, The Unicorns had a sort of kitsch/novelty appeal. They experimented with dozens of instruments (including toy keyboards), their songs were like tall tales with frequent mentions of the mythic and supernatural, and they would dress up for concerts like it was Halloween. Their second album, Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone? brought them widespread recognition; underneath the juvenile façade, there was something cohesive, substantial, and even artistic.

On Islands first release, Return to the Sea, Thorburn took the Unicorns’ synth-pop and fleshed out the sound with an eclectic 6-piece band. Whereas Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone? sounds simple and spontaneous, Islands’ Return to the Sea features such lush and complex arrangements that it seems the band must have been in the studio for months. In contrast to the Unicorns definable style, Return to the Sea, like Arm’s Way dabbles in a variety of styles, from Caribbean and African steel drums to hip-hop.

Unlike Return to the Sea, which devotes an entire song to a style (in a way giving the listener some breathing room), Arm’s Way jams up to three different styles into a single song. The result is at times a bit dizzying; we don’t have time get comfortable with a new style before we’re thrown into another surprise. It feels like Thorburn is clashing against commercial songwriting, where the main question is whether the title or main hook is repeated enough to be memorable (and therefore profitable). On Arm’s Way, there’s a “blink and you miss it” feel, as if Thorburn has so much to express, he can’t take the time to repeat something he’s already said. Without the commercial repetitiveness, the most beautiful and compelling moments don’t feel trivialized or commodified: they feel guarded, confessional, and almost sacred.

One theme overarches almost all of Thorburn’s songs: death. The Unicorns Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone? opens with the track, “I Don’t Wanna Die.” Of the 13 tracks, 9 talk about ghosts, death, or terminal illness. By the last track, “Let Me Sleep,” the narrator has somehow come to terms with his own death—on an island—closing with the words, “I’ve said my goodbyes, and now I’m ready to die.”

The first track of Islands’ debut album Return to the Sea, “Swans (Life After Death),” picks up where “Let Me Sleep” left off, singing about “the day I died.” Of the songs with lyrics, 6 of 10 reference death. Arm’s Way continues the same trend, with a recurring fear of being stabbed, getting cancer, or dying in a car crash. In a recent interview, Nick Thorburn said,

“I guess I'm just fixated on death because it's such a strange inevitability. Everything comes to such an abrupt and final end. It really blows my mind. I gotta get past that. You know, I'm trying. I think it's a form of therapy to be writing songs.”

In “Life in Jail,” Thorburn likens a TV-watching sedentary lifestyle to prison. Finally, the mysterious theme of death comes to a kind of cathartic climax: “There’s nothing to live for, unless you live a little more like you’re going to die.” Prefaced by Thorburn’s previous albums, a moment like this, is revelatory, life-changing. Arm’s Way may not be the most accessible introduction to Islands—and it shouldn’t be. If you’re unfamiliar with Islands, pick up Return to the Sea. If you’ve heard that, you’ve got to hear this.

Works Cited:
Jeff Klingman, Where Nick Thorburn's Head Is At, 17 April 2008, 23 April 2008. http://www.merryswankster.com/archives/2008/04/nick_thorburn_i.html

I wish I invented this.

2008-05-14T16:52:00.000-07:00

Chi-wow-wa

2008-05-07T13:24:00.001-07:00

It's no secret that the best way for Disney to throw an Mexican ethnic flavor into a film is to add a chihuahua. Pedro from Lady and the Tramp, and Ignacio Alonzo Julio Fredrico de Tito in Oliver and Company have already caused some critics to wonder whether Disney is only capable of portraying Mexicans as dogs.

The answer is yes.

COMIX

2008-04-02T15:23:00.001-07:00

I made comics today.

So you think you CAN dance?

2007-08-02T23:16:00.000-07:00

Wow, I just found a picture of myself on the internet, from the first week of my mission, on a website made by a guy without arms.

More physics fun

2007-07-20T00:04:00.000-07:00

It is 1:04 am, and I have decided to stop my physics homework right now because the next question is (grammar errors included) this:

"Describe the energy transformations the occur during a pole vault. Trace the energy sources back to nuclear potential energy associated with protons in the sun's core."

And there is not a picture of the sun.

New lookers

2007-07-19T09:23:00.001-07:00

Well, I got new glasses and my hair looks particularly emo today. This picture is taken in the physics lab. I am working on physics. When am I not working on physics?

Real world application of physics.

2007-07-14T15:03:00.000-07:00

Therefore, if you want to lose weight without going on a diet, climb a mountain.

if you buy fish in an elevator, make sure the fish is weighed while the elevator is either at rest or accelerating downward.

Found

2007-06-19T19:53:00.000-07:00

Uh, while packing and cleaning, I found these keys. from a locker room sometime somewhere? possibly.

Back in the Seaddle

2007-06-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

Good DAY!

Well, I think it's time for the dawn of a glorious new day. That dawn is now. That day is today. That glory is this blog.

So today, I went to microsoft with my dad and I tried to convert one of his coworkers. I also ate the worst onion rings ever at the microsoft cafeteria. Microsoft has free soft drinks.

I am working on cleaning out my boxes of the room in my new house. I found many things from my childhood. Including a list of hobbies, in which 7/8 had the words star wars in them. Also a first-person perspective drawing of a ninja-raptor mauling and gutting an astronaut.

I also recorded a music video for summer.

I scored a job interview for thursday.

more later.

Love,
Andy M