sca·tol·o·gy (sk-tl-j)
n.
1. The study and analysis of feces for physiological and diagnostic purposes. Also called coprology.
2. An obsession with excrement or excretory functions.
3. The psychiatric study of such an obsession.
In other words:
1. studying poo.
2. being obsessed with poo.
3. studying those obsessed with poo.
Wow.
I really hope future employers don't search for me and find this blog post.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
A WORLD PREMIERE ANDYS BLOG EXCLUSIVE VIDEO
Below: an ultrasound of our new baby. It's beautiful, huh? We're about 14 weeks along.
And because a silent ultrasound video is kind of an oxymoron, we added rock music.
Music by De Novo Dahl.
And because a silent ultrasound video is kind of an oxymoron, we added rock music.
Music by De Novo Dahl.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Scams!
Apparently, nigerian internet scams go far beyond the standard "I will share a fortune with u" kind. When I put an ad as a tutor on craigslist, I also was quickly introduced into the world of Nigerian Tutor Scamming.
Here's the first email I received:
A little weird for a message from a doctor (or was it a Beatles reference?)... I sent back a generic reply saying I was still available. He wrote:
I was immediately suspicious and searched to see if this was a common scam. It was. I replied:
And, the predictable reply:
And, soon after, I got ANOTHER scam email from another guy. Here's an excerpt from that hilarity:
Heh.
Here's the first email I received:
Hello,
please kindly get back to me if u are still available to tutor my
son on this lesson... Dr. Robert
A little weird for a message from a doctor (or was it a Beatles reference?)... I sent back a generic reply saying I was still available. He wrote:
Hello,
Am happy that you reply to my request..Just to introduce myself to
you, My name is Dr Robert a single parent, I'm from united state but currently
based in United Kingdom due to my work transfer, my son will be coming for an
holiday in U.S, and i want him to be busy throughout as he will be starting his first
high school grade. Therefore, i just want to know may be he can always come to
you and teach him great things every morning,afternoon or evening concerning
the maths lesson.If this is possible, i will want you to get back to me with the cost of your teaching for a month which can start as soon as he get to the state he should be in the state very soon and will be coming to your house or meet at your nearest library for 1 hour each morning,afternoon or evening,I have someone that will always drive him down to your house.. My son's name is kelvin, he is 14 years old grade 5-12. I will want you to calculate 1 hour per day for Monday, Wednesday, Friday for the whole 1 MONTH,and get back to me so that we can arrange on payment. Kindly get back to me with...... TOTAL CHARGES FOR 1 MONTH THAT HE WILL BE TAUGHT 3 TIMES PER WEEK.. Thanks, I'll awaiting to read from you soon.Here is my line in the U.K if you care to give me a call +447 0457 10974
Hope to hear from you soon
Warmest Regards
I was immediately suspicious and searched to see if this was a common scam. It was. I replied:
Dear Dr. Robert,
I only accept cash in person, $[X] per lesson. I will not accept the money in advance. Your son can bring cash at the end of each week of lessons.
Look forward to hearing back from you and Kelvin.
And, the predictable reply:
I'm so glad to read from you again, actually i would have love
pay youin cash but i'm far away and i wouldn't any problem to arise
with your payment. Let me know if you will stillbe available to tutor
my son with my form of payment.
And, soon after, I got ANOTHER scam email from another guy. Here's an excerpt from that hilarity:
Good day to you over there. I hope everything is fine with you? I'm writing you regarding the advert you placed on craigslist concerning coaching/lessons. But first of all let me introduce myself. My name is Bill Michael and I have a daughter named Ashley, she is the only child that I have. I want the best for her in terms of education. She finished her first school in United Kingdom, but she grew up with her step mum in Mexico because her mum is late now. So that's why I married another wife so she wont grow up knowing anyone as her mother and I love her so much. Presently I'm still in United Kingdom with her and her step mum. I'm so sorry for saying all this, but im just saying it because I want the best for her , I will want you to me answer these important questions below so I can know the next step for you to start the lecturing...
Heh.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Applecare
If I ever know anybody getting an Apple laptop, I tell them to get Applecare. Applecare extends the warranty of the computer from one to three years; if anything stops working, they'll send you out a new part with overnight shipping or take in the computer for more detailed repairs for free. Here's why I recommend it:
What we payed: $240 (student price)
I had no problems during my computer's first year, but since then I've had these problems:
2 battery replacements - $260
2 power adapter replacements - $160
Logic board replacement- around $800
All of that—at least $1200 worth of parts, not counting labor, plus shipping—was included under the $240.
Now I'm a heavy computer user who takes my computer on the road a lot, so my results are probably not typical. I probably wouldn't buy Applecare with an iMac. But, seriously, I wouldn't have been able to afford all those repairs myself, and I won't buy another notebook without Applecare.
What we payed: $240 (student price)
I had no problems during my computer's first year, but since then I've had these problems:
2 battery replacements - $260
2 power adapter replacements - $160
Logic board replacement- around $800
All of that—at least $1200 worth of parts, not counting labor, plus shipping—was included under the $240.
Now I'm a heavy computer user who takes my computer on the road a lot, so my results are probably not typical. I probably wouldn't buy Applecare with an iMac. But, seriously, I wouldn't have been able to afford all those repairs myself, and I won't buy another notebook without Applecare.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Guys, if you haven't seen The Fantastic Mr. Fox, you've really let us all down. It's easily this year's best film (as far as I've seen), but people just aren't going to see it and it's a shame. So, next time you go to the theater, don't go see 2012 or Old Dogs or A Christmas Carol or Planet 51 or New Moon or any of the other terribly-reviewed films in theaters. Go see Mr. Fox, take the kids, take the neighbors kids, and take Summer and I because we'd love to see it again.
Fantastic Mr. Fox is based on the short children's novel by Roald Dahl, who also wrote many books you're probably more familiar with as movies: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, The Witches. Summer and I listened to it on audio book a while ago, and while it's certainly compelling, I was a bit disappointed—and wondering how such a short book could even have enough material to adapt into a movie. Well, this is one of those rare examples where the movie is actually better than the book. Director Wes Anderson expands the world of Mr. Fox in a way that's true to the book when it follows the plot, and is true to Dahl's style when the movie goes beyond the plot—a clever appropriation of part of Danny, The Champion of the World is a good example. Anderson also realizes the world in his own unique style, with which you'll instantly be familiar if you've seen any of his 5 outstanding past films. The characters are a little eccentric and the situations a bit quirky, but underlying it all there's a real story with real emotion.
The way I interpret the film is like this: it's not just about wild animals wondering why they don't fit into a human world. It's about us, as humans, feeling that this moment in history is somehow not what we were made for. It's the feeling that we came from somewhere else and belong somewhere else, and that our modern existence—where we live in small boxes we call houses and apartments, eat heavily processed foods, and rarely get out into nature—is a farce, a construction, maybe an illusion. In any case, it's not who we really are; we long for something more. As Yoda put it, "Luminous beings are we; not this crude matter." And yet, as is so transcendentally expressed in Fantastic Mr. Fox's final scenes in the grocery store and the sewer, we find a way to make this crude existence work. We adapt, and we love, and we build communities together. It's beautiful.
Fantastic Mr. Fox is based on the short children's novel by Roald Dahl, who also wrote many books you're probably more familiar with as movies: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, The Witches. Summer and I listened to it on audio book a while ago, and while it's certainly compelling, I was a bit disappointed—and wondering how such a short book could even have enough material to adapt into a movie. Well, this is one of those rare examples where the movie is actually better than the book. Director Wes Anderson expands the world of Mr. Fox in a way that's true to the book when it follows the plot, and is true to Dahl's style when the movie goes beyond the plot—a clever appropriation of part of Danny, The Champion of the World is a good example. Anderson also realizes the world in his own unique style, with which you'll instantly be familiar if you've seen any of his 5 outstanding past films. The characters are a little eccentric and the situations a bit quirky, but underlying it all there's a real story with real emotion.
The way I interpret the film is like this: it's not just about wild animals wondering why they don't fit into a human world. It's about us, as humans, feeling that this moment in history is somehow not what we were made for. It's the feeling that we came from somewhere else and belong somewhere else, and that our modern existence—where we live in small boxes we call houses and apartments, eat heavily processed foods, and rarely get out into nature—is a farce, a construction, maybe an illusion. In any case, it's not who we really are; we long for something more. As Yoda put it, "Luminous beings are we; not this crude matter." And yet, as is so transcendentally expressed in Fantastic Mr. Fox's final scenes in the grocery store and the sewer, we find a way to make this crude existence work. We adapt, and we love, and we build communities together. It's beautiful.
Help! I've been lampooned on a desert island!
I see mormon.org ads in the strangest places. Once I saw a mormon.org chat ad—with, U no, annoying internet grammar that should be 4bidden—placed next to this article which subtly—but grammatically correctly—disparaged President Monson.
Today, I looked up the word "prurient" and saw a mormon.org ad on the page. What, is "prurient" a key word for mormon ads now? Couldn't there be some better targeting—you know, to words like "truth," "God," "atonement," "Mormon"... that sort of thing?
In other news, I have 5 grad apps completed out of 12 total. This semester has kicked my butt, but I've learned a lot.
Elliot is so great. We've been having raspberry dialogues back and forth the last few days (i.e. elliot: "phhhhh," me: "phhhh" elliot: "phhhhhh" me: "phhh" elliot: "phhhphphph" etc.), but today was our first "babababa" dialogue. He's so cute and he's standing better than ever, and falling less frequently. He's the loveliest little boy that ever lived.
Today, I looked up the word "prurient" and saw a mormon.org ad on the page. What, is "prurient" a key word for mormon ads now? Couldn't there be some better targeting—you know, to words like "truth," "God," "atonement," "Mormon"... that sort of thing?
In other news, I have 5 grad apps completed out of 12 total. This semester has kicked my butt, but I've learned a lot.
Elliot is so great. We've been having raspberry dialogues back and forth the last few days (i.e. elliot: "phhhhh," me: "phhhh" elliot: "phhhhhh" me: "phhh" elliot: "phhhphphph" etc.), but today was our first "babababa" dialogue. He's so cute and he's standing better than ever, and falling less frequently. He's the loveliest little boy that ever lived.
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